Tony Falk (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} seamonkey314) wrote,@ 2006-02-17 22:50:00 |
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Already Posted: This is a re-edit for the Tech of the Vanilla Coke Article
This also appeared earlier, but like the other one, has been edited. I've submitted this version to the Tech, to be published as soon as Adam Craig stops being in charge. Which could be any minute now.
Apparently Vanilla Coke has been discontinued, replaced by the nasty (I know, I've tried it) Black cherry-Vanilla flavor. This seems to have been done for several reasons:
1) Coke’s whole promotion of Vanilla Coke was "hey, try it, it's different. Come-on, try it, please? Just try it, or there will be problems, aite?" Which is good to get people started, but they never tried anything else. Sure it’s a better strategy than Diet Pepsi’s using the term ‘brown and bubbly’ since it rates much better in the key category of not having a slogan that reminds people of untreated sewage, but perhaps Coke could have attempted a little bit of a better marketing campaign? Perhaps a slogan like ‘Vanilla Coke: Hitler didn’t drink it, maybe you should’ would help keep sales up.
2) Some people (I am not one of them, I LOVE Vanilla Coke.) think Vanilla Coke tastes somewhat mediciney. Maybe those people have had better tasting medicine than I have, or maybe they shot a bottle rocket up their nose as a child and ruined their taste buds. Regardless, there is no accounting for taste, by which I mean literally no accounting department can make a profit selling to people who don’t like the product. Except maybe Microsoft*.
3) Coke hates me, despite the fact that I genuinely like Coke, and hate Pepsi, even though many people think they taste the same (those people are liars, Pepsi tastes like rat piss that is past it's sell by date, while Coke, especially Coke from a can in a tall glass with ice, is like heaven on crack). This may be because I got picked before Coke for a game of kickball in 4th grade, but that’s just speculation**.
4) Coke hates America.
Now, I don't know what the sales figures were for Vanilla Coke, but I can't believe that it was so much more expensive to make than regular Coke. And the fact that some people (like me) would go out of their ways to find and drink it should justify any additional cost. I believe that the formula was to take some Coke, add some vanilla flavoring, and sell it. This is the same strategy used with Cherry Coke and Cherry Coke has been continued for all these years, right? It's not as if this is fruit flavored Pepsi, or a soda that is based on the taste of grapefruit. Vanilla Coke has got to sell better than Fresca.
In addition, the replacement novelty style Coke flavor is even more mediciney (and includes that nasty aftertaste you get from the caffeine free Diet Coke my mom always buys tons of, but no one drinks any of it, and then it sits in our basement forever and eventually someone decides, eh, it's soda, and drinks one sip, then leaves the mostly full can by the sink for a while). If you're going to discontinue a drink flavor, don't follow up with one that is the same idea (except nasty) but stronger. That’s like a diet that replaces eating candy with eating bacon and onion rings, one step forward and two steps back.
At least I can hate Coke back, and for now at least I'm quitting soda, and you should too. I do this every once and a while, because soda is like candy, it's just good tasting empty calories and that is no good for you. But it does taste oh-so-good. Regardless, because Coke doesn't think I'm good enough for it, I quit . If Coke has a problem with that, it can suck on a lemon. But please, don't put that lemon into a Coke flavor, because there is lemon-lime soda, and there is cola, and if you mix them, it tastes nasty. I know, I’ve tried it.
* Burn.
** In this context, speculation = a lie.
This also appeared earlier, but like the other one, has been edited. I've submitted this version to the Tech, to be published as soon as Adam Craig stops being in charge. Which could be any minute now.
Apparently Vanilla Coke has been discontinued, replaced by the nasty (I know, I've tried it) Black cherry-Vanilla flavor. This seems to have been done for several reasons:
1) Coke’s whole promotion of Vanilla Coke was "hey, try it, it's different. Come-on, try it, please? Just try it, or there will be problems, aite?" Which is good to get people started, but they never tried anything else. Sure it’s a better strategy than Diet Pepsi’s using the term ‘brown and bubbly’ since it rates much better in the key category of not having a slogan that reminds people of untreated sewage, but perhaps Coke could have attempted a little bit of a better marketing campaign? Perhaps a slogan like ‘Vanilla Coke: Hitler didn’t drink it, maybe you should’ would help keep sales up.
2) Some people (I am not one of them, I LOVE Vanilla Coke.) think Vanilla Coke tastes somewhat mediciney. Maybe those people have had better tasting medicine than I have, or maybe they shot a bottle rocket up their nose as a child and ruined their taste buds. Regardless, there is no accounting for taste, by which I mean literally no accounting department can make a profit selling to people who don’t like the product. Except maybe Microsoft*.
3) Coke hates me, despite the fact that I genuinely like Coke, and hate Pepsi, even though many people think they taste the same (those people are liars, Pepsi tastes like rat piss that is past it's sell by date, while Coke, especially Coke from a can in a tall glass with ice, is like heaven on crack). This may be because I got picked before Coke for a game of kickball in 4th grade, but that’s just speculation**.
4) Coke hates America.
Now, I don't know what the sales figures were for Vanilla Coke, but I can't believe that it was so much more expensive to make than regular Coke. And the fact that some people (like me) would go out of their ways to find and drink it should justify any additional cost. I believe that the formula was to take some Coke, add some vanilla flavoring, and sell it. This is the same strategy used with Cherry Coke and Cherry Coke has been continued for all these years, right? It's not as if this is fruit flavored Pepsi, or a soda that is based on the taste of grapefruit. Vanilla Coke has got to sell better than Fresca.
In addition, the replacement novelty style Coke flavor is even more mediciney (and includes that nasty aftertaste you get from the caffeine free Diet Coke my mom always buys tons of, but no one drinks any of it, and then it sits in our basement forever and eventually someone decides, eh, it's soda, and drinks one sip, then leaves the mostly full can by the sink for a while). If you're going to discontinue a drink flavor, don't follow up with one that is the same idea (except nasty) but stronger. That’s like a diet that replaces eating candy with eating bacon and onion rings, one step forward and two steps back.
At least I can hate Coke back, and for now at least I'm quitting soda, and you should too. I do this every once and a while, because soda is like candy, it's just good tasting empty calories and that is no good for you. But it does taste oh-so-good. Regardless, because Coke doesn't think I'm good enough for it, I quit . If Coke has a problem with that, it can suck on a lemon. But please, don't put that lemon into a Coke flavor, because there is lemon-lime soda, and there is cola, and if you mix them, it tastes nasty. I know, I’ve tried it.
* Burn.
** In this context, speculation = a lie.
